A Family Guide to Teens, Screens and Social Media

Seemingly glued to their palms, digital devices consume more of teens’ time than ever before—an average of 8.5 hours a day, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Social lives unfold on screen, and with each tap, follow, stream and scroll, teenagers explore their curiosity and shape their identities and beliefs. Evidence is mounting, though, that these pocket-sized attachments can jeopardize teens’ wellbeing during a vital period of development.

Beware the Pitfalls of Social Media

Endlessly scrolling through immaculately crafted social media accounts invites comparisons, especially for those in the throes of puberty. Sweeping research in JAMA Pediatrics has linked social media use in young people to a broad range of psychological challenges, including low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-harm and substance use. It can also disrupt sleep and education and potentially rewire the brain to crave more time online.

Cedars-Sinai pediatricians urge families to recognize, and take seriously, screen time’s enormous influence on youth. Parents can empower the next generation with healthier phone habits that help their child grow into the person they are meant to be.

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“You wouldn’t just let your kids go in the street and run around everywhere from an early age. That isn’t safe,” said Cedars-Sinai Guerin Children’s pediatrician Frances Pang, MD. “You should set clear boundaries and rules for them in the digital world, too.”

Create a Family Screen Time Plan

Experts caution against implementing blanket phone bans, which can backfire. The approach also is no longer practical in the digital age, when school updates and assignments are routed online.

“We used to talk about screen time, but it’s so much harder now to differentiate between all the activities youth may be doing online,” explained pediatrician Pamela Phillips, MD, medical director of Cedars-Sinai Medical Group. “Once they grow into middle and high schoolers, they need their devices for so many things.”

People can video chat and text with loved ones all over the world, enabling youth to maintain close friendships after a move and connect with others who share an experience that is rare in their community, such as a disability or ethnic background. These positive social connections support emotional wellbeing.

“One-on-one interactions are always going to be better than more anonymous, rapid scrolling through YouTube videos or Instagram,” Phillips recommended.

Use transitions—such as the beginning of summer, when kids will have much more free time, or entering high school—as jumping-off points to discuss how your whole family will use these tools. The AAP Family Media Plan can help you determine clear digital guardrails and ensure teenagers fully understand their responsibilities.

You wouldn’t just let your kids go in the street and run around everywhere from an early age. That isn’t safe. You should set clear boundaries and rules for them in the digital world, too.

Cedars-Sinai pediatricians stress that it’s important to create adaptable plans that fit rapidly changing trends, as well as your children’s unique needs and personalities. Consider the below in shaping your family’s guidelines.

• ‍Device-free zones. Growing adolescents need eight to 10 hours of sleep a day to be fully refreshed.Yet the vast majority are sleep deprived and waking up bleary-eyed, perhaps from texting late into the night. Restrict phones in teens’ bedrooms and around bedtime, between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., when being online is “likely to be delaying or displacing restorative sleep,” according to JAMA research.
  
  Devices shouldn’t be out at mealtimes, either. Engage with your family around the dinner table, and store all your family’s phones in common areas when not in use.

• ‍Mindful awareness of screen time. Adjust your child’s settings and apps to track their screen time, and discuss how their digital habits make them feel.
  
  Social media apps such as TikTok, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube offer almost instant dopamine hits. But studies show more than seven hours of daily screen time may interfere with attention span and academic performance, as well as reinforce compulsive use. A recent landmark court ruling held two prominent companies responsible for intentionally building addictive social media platforms, and countries from England to Australia are tightening laws to block youth under 16 from these apps.
  
  “When you give this quick-reward system to kids whose brains are still developing, you’re not allowing them to build those neural pathways that teach them to problem-solve and be persistent,” Pang explained. “They just sit there passively absorbing all this content.

• Thoughtful introductions. Delay giving your child a smartphone until they mature and have a stronger sense of self—age 14 at the earliest. Increasingly, experts and educators champion classroom phone restrictions, such as those recently implemented in Los Angeles elementary schools, and suggest families wait until eighth grade to give children digital devices beyond simple telephones.
  
  Pediatricians stress that preteens and younger students who do have smartphones need even more oversight. Consider plans that connect young people’s devices to their parents’ phones, allowing you to block certain apps or disable phones after your child reaches a daily limit.
  
  When can families consider allowing social media? Late adolescence, experts suggest, and with robust account protections that block frequent notifications and autoplay functions.

• Social media privacy. Set all social media accounts to private. Minors should only connect online (including individuals they follow, approve to follow them and message) with people they know personally. Otherwise, you have no way of knowing if the person is who they say are.

Be Curious About Your Child’s Online Experiences

Parents must put some trust in their teenagers. At the same time, visibility into their digital world is essential, especially for those already vulnerable to anxiety, depression or restrictive eating. A teen might like a YouTube video about weight loss and accidentally be pulled into a spiral of dangerous content promoting disordered eating.

“Before smartphones and social media, if your kid was in their bedroom, you generally knew they were safe,” Pang said.“Now, they could be subject to a range of health and safety issues if you aren’t careful and don’t follow what’s going on.”

Doomscrolling through bad news is also a concern because the adolescent brain is predisposed to worry.

“They don’t have the adult perspective or insight to understand how to put bad news in context of what else is happening,” Pang said, “so they get really easily sucked into the scariness of it.”

Check in weekly or every other week, and ask your child to show you their feeds, so you can see what their social media algorithm is serving them and what their friends are sharing. Be ready for cues that something online is bothering them, and take the opportunity to encourage them to open up.

The pressure of performing perfection and competing for the validation of likes can weigh on young people. The rise of generative AI—and “deepfake” images, which can be hard to detect—blurs the truth even more. Reassure your loved one that what they see on TikTok or Instagram isn’t the full picture and can distort their perspective and expectations.

“Social media isn’t real,” stressed Phillips, who is also the medical director for pediatrics with the Cedars-Sinai Medical Care Foundation. “Everything online is a carefully curated and edited snapshot and nothing close to reality.”

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How to Detect Problematic or Addictive Social Media Use in Teens

Nearly half of teens have experienced cyberbullying, according to the AAP.

Online conversations lend themselves to misunderstanding, and arguments and dynamics that may have once stayed in middle and high school hallways now follow students home. Kids who are being picked on can feel trapped.

“People are just so mean when they don’t have to look somebody in the eye,” Phillips warned.

Foster an attitude of respect online, she suggests, and of considering others’ feelings before pressing send on a message or post.

To catch any red flags, you should have access to all passwords and downloads, including hidden apps.

“Parents are finding digital media has a really powerful hold on kids,” Pang warned, “and it can prey on their fear of missing out.”

Adolescence is a particularly vulnerable time for addiction. Does your child regularly lose hours when scrolling, gazing into their screen as if in a trance?

Watch out for warning signs of social media and smartphone dependence, including:

• Losing interest in other activities
• Social isolation
• Slipping grades
• Unintentionally losing track of screen time
• Secrecy
• Irritability after online sessions
• Excessive comparisons
• Agitation and panic when they can’t log on (such as during a flight)
• Failed attempts to curb social media use (17% of young teenagers in the U.S. have unsuccessfully tried to cut back)

If you’re concerned, avoid judgment and share what you have observed during a calm moment. Therapy can treat underlying mental health challenges—including struggles with anxiety, depression or body image—and provide safer outlets.

Touching Grass: Analog Hobbies Could Help Youth Reset

Ultimately, digital media takes time away from other activities that help youth feel their best and realize their potential. Experts say even a one-week break can revitalize young people.

Get your teens moving and interacting with friends face to face. New or beloved hobbies, such as coloring or photography, may also inspire them to savor the moment. Does your teen have any interests they follow online that you can bring into their real world? For example, you can encourage your teen’s interest in drawing by visiting an art exhibit together.

“Fill their lives with other things so the inclination to just pick up their phone is not there,” Phillips suggested.

Model a Healthy Relationship With Your Phone

Young people tend to follow the online patterns of their parents.

When your teen engages with you, give them your full attention and put your phone to the side.

“Lead by example,” Pang said.